Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Child In Me Rediscovered

Have you ever considered what life would be like as a child. I have excellent long term memory. I remember being a a child, but can't recall the feelings and wonder of it all. Since my angioplasty, I get a wee glimpse on special days. Today was one of those occasions. My 12 year old grandson was asked to speak in church this Sunday. We live too far away to attend their church every week, but he asked me and his Pappa to come listen to him. With fifteen grandchildren, this is a treat for us.

We always begin our services with a hymn and prayer. The hymns were my favorite part of Sunday worship. I was a choir director from time to time for many years, and often played the piano. Better than either of those things to me was singing. Rick and I sang in the choir together for close to thirty years. He has a rich, steady baritone voice. I usually sang alto or second soprano. I was never anything more than a competent or average  singer.Yet Rick and I complemented each other very well and were often asked to sing a duet. Five years ago it became apparent that my duets were over. Speech, swallowing and cognition difficulties made it impossible for me to read music and  find the right pitch. Breath control was beyond me. There would be no more choir practices. I accompanied my husband for a few months but after I made an excuse the first time, I knew I wouldn't go back. I usually squeak out the first and last verses with the rest of the congregation before I get dizzy and just mouth the words. I fight back tears during my favorite songs.

I listened to the prelude music and hummed the tune to myself this morning,as usual. I opened the Hymnbook to the appropriate page number so little Sara (age 5) could follow the words from the right, and her brother Joseph (age 10) to my left. I was going to go through the usual motions when the couple in front of me turned their heads. I was singing! Not just the half whisper note or two everyone had become accustomed to.I was belting those notes to the pulpit! We moved only a few months ago, so we knew everyone there. The congregation knew me before MS had the time to suck the life out of me. Since an alto doesn't normally sing the melody, the harmony was obvious. Rick was grinning ear to ear and my poor grand daughter looked at me like I grew an eyeball in the middle of my forehead.   After the opening prayer Joseph turned to me and said, "Nanny, that was awesome!" I smiled at him while I tried to look invisible. William gave an excellent talk and I don't remember a word anyone else said.

I have now rediscovered two new talents. For the first time in many moons, I can yawn and sing! I don't get bored anymore because each new day is a question mark. There may be bumps and cracks in the road ahead, but I am no longer afraid of the ride. The child in me is very happy! I think Guitar Hero is stepping up a notch at our house.
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